This is not the first time I start plotting down a triggered thought, a lingering feeling or anything of that sort, but I've always managed to come up with an excuse to pause whatever is in my head. So, beloved reader, this is the first actual full 'voice out' I've written since my graduation from university (15 months ago)! Well, you know what they say, it is never too late.
I'm sure most of you if not all of you are aware of my struggle with weight loss. Here's a quick summary in case I haven't told you before: lost 25 kgs in 1.5 years (yey) ==> then had a surgery which left me lying on beds and sofas for 6+ months (not so yey) ==> result: full recovery but gained all kilos back. You can only imagine how this experience left me. I was devastated. I was continuously brought down by what people say or dare not say. I couldn't get my head around the idea of having to go through the whole process again. That I have to work out day and night again. Change my lifestyle and eating habits again. And so I tried, I joined the gym and went there on a regular basis, but I was going with the most negative energy one can carry. It wasn't until last week that I realised that maybe doing it for the second round is not as bad as it sounds. Maybe, just maybe, like I inspired people in my first journey, I am destined to inspire more this time. This way I'll be doing what I need to be doing while fulfilling one of my passions, helping others along the way.
So what's different this time? I am fully aware now that I should be working on the interior as much the exterior and that re-living the past is not so bad as long as I'm doing it with a clearer vision. Although arriving to this realization took me what looks like forever but I'm happy, really happy, that I'm where I am finally and that's because of life coaching sessions -which I started recently-, gym training sessions and most importantly the support of family, friends and neighbors.
Today, I can voice out and say: I'm on the right path. I'm working towards my passions and towards a better Mariam in a better world living a better today.