Momentary Comfort

I used to find comfort in writing, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in singing, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in hugs, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in watching Sex and the City, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in exercising, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in crying, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in being with family and friends, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in long drives, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in my wishful thoughts, now I don't.
I used to find comfort in your voice, now you're gone.
I used to find comfort in your touch, now you're gone.
I used to find comfort in your eyes, now you're gone.
I used to find comfort in your... Well, I used to find comfort in you and you're gone now.
I guess comfort was never meant to be found in something, or someone because everything and everyone around us are bound to leave us, no? I guess seeking comfort from within is the only way. But how? How do I know where to begin when you won't be there to take me by the hand and show me the way?
Wait, am I not the independent woman I always thought highly off? Was I repeating this out loud to force people to believe a beautiful brave picture I created of myself? Or was I trying to prove it to myself?
Was it my mistake to put all my faith in you? Are we built and created to figure things out on our own?
But most importantly, am I ok? Am I doing "fine"? Are you?
I wish you're not. I wish you are as lost as I am (and maybe a bit more).
Here's to the memories I will never regret... Here's to... Well, f*ck you.

M.C